Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

I saw a post on Facebook the other day with a list of things that were guaranteed to happen to you in your twenties.  One of them was that you would read a book that was likely to change your life and they way you think about things.  In light of seeing my first clients ever this week, I've been trying to soak in as much as possible.  I think I've read three self-help types of books in the last week and a half- currently reading my fourth.  Probably going a little over board but I just want to be prepared.  Anyway, I don't know if this book changed my life so much as resonated with the way I feel.  I've said before that I need to stop reading books about the Holocaust (they only make me sick) but somehow I get sucked right in.  A man's search for meaning is about Frankl's experiences as a Jewish doctor who survived multiple concentration camps. He built a life philosophy on what he witnessed from fellow prisoners.  He mentions that everything can be taken from us but we can always still choose they way we respond.  We can live hopelessly or look for light.  He talks about knowing which men would die in the next 24 hours based on losing their will to live.  His theory, logo therapy, argues that finding meaning in our lives is the most powerful motivator.  It can keep us going whatever the circumstance. He says that we make meaning when we create, experience, and maintain a given attitude around suffering.  It's a quick read, but very insightful and I already want to read it again.

Viktor Frankl

Quiet

So I should really be studying for finals but I just finished a book that I couldn’t put down.  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.  It’s by Susan Cain and it is amazing.  She went to law school at Harvard but came to find that her true passion was psychology and writing.  It doesn’t matter whether you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert. This book is ridiculously insightful.  I think every parent, teacher, and therapist should read it.  Susan talks about how we live in a culture that truly values extroverted behavior.  We tend to think more highly of those who are outgoing, sociable, charismatic and quick to make decisions.  There is nothing wrong with these traits, except that we undervalue those who are more reserved, sensitive, and withdrawn.  Susan makes a powerful argument that the strengths of introverts are overlooked.

What Susan discusses is the quiet strength of those who hold back, self-reflect, and aren’t as quick to assert their opinion.  She makes compelling arguments in terms of stock market crashes that could have been avoided had the ‘introverts’ been in charge.  She cites studies indicating that brainstorming (face to face) amongst colleagues doesn’t necessarily help us generate intelligent decisions, but rather, group work helps us feel more validated and confident in our choices- whether or not they are the best ones.

 As she walks through the halls of the Harvard Business College Susan searches for introverts, but the students joke that she won’t find anyone who fits that description at HBC.  Professors make it their goal to facilitate conversation and group discussion.  They strategize about ways to make the quiet students speak up, correlating the volume of comments with academic success.  As a culture we value extroversion.  Our schools, churches, and businesses are modeled in ways to facilitate group interactions.  Some businesses have even done away with separated cubicles to enhance feelings of openness.  Unfortunately, creative thinkers generally need their personal space in order to reach some kind of flow.  I believe it was Microsoft that has now created a floor plan that allows for both privacy and group discussion when necessary. 

There is tons of amazing research in this book.  She doesn’t suggest that one way of being is better than the other, but rather that every voice has value.  One man argued that introverts don’t make effective leaders because he never hears what they have to say, but Susan would suggest otherwise.   She provides examples of Rosa Parks, Moses, Warren Buffett, Einstein and many more to showcase the strengths of the “quiet.”

I personally connected with this book and felt like I gained insight into my own personality.  Specifically as one who needs time to myself, and who is more than happy to stay home on a Friday or Saturday night with a good book.  At the end they talk about parents who are concerned for more socially withdrawn children, but suggest that rather than force that child into uncomfortable situations that they create outlets to cultivate their child’s natural strengths.  I also appreciated that she suggests people are not limited to certain careers based on their temperament.  There is so much I could say about this book and probably not a lot that will do it justice, but if you get the chance, don’t hesitate to read it.

Nurtureshock

This book was so interesting to me, and I think Jenae and Christine would love it, since it kind of relates to their fields of work. But really, I think everyone would find it interesting (notice how any book I love I automatically thing EVERYONE would love haha..).

It is a non-fiction book on different topics relating to children (things like lying, sleeping, self-control, teen rebellion) and each chapter gets its own topic . The authors compiled a bunch of research on each topic, and they find that a lot of the things that work when raising children are actually counter-intuitive.

For example: the first chapter is called "The Inverse Power of Praise." In it, they talk about how if you praise a child for being smart, they are more likely to rely on their natural abilities and make less of an effort when something doesn't come easy to them. In the "smart" child's mind, having to work at something means they lose their "smart" status. However, if you praise a child for their effort, they are more likely to associate success with the amount of effort they put in, and they are more likely to try new things and be persistent.

In another chapter called "Why Hanna Talks and Alyssa Doesn't," they discuss what is most successful in helping babies learn to talk. A lot of people think that constantly talking to your baby and narrating your every move helps language development the most, but that is not what they found. Instead, what matters most is how much you respond to your baby when they initiate a conversation (coo or babble). I experimented with this on Henry and I think it really worked! He had just been saying, "Eeeeeeeeeee" and other vowels but no consonants, so I started making more of an effort to respond to him and a day later he started saying, "Dadadtatamamababbabtada." Could be a coincidence, of course.

Anyway, I thought it was a fascinating read and I had a fun time comparing it to my own life. I also felt like it was an easy non-fiction read. The authors did a good job of keeping you interested, I never felt like I was reading a textbook. I would highly recommend it!

Slumdog Millionaire

Here’s my announcement to the Fam: I’m heading to India and Nepal next month! I CANNOT wait! It’s definitely a dream come true for me and I’m in awe at the opportunity.  Before I felt like it was even a possibility I ran to the library and checked out the first thing I saw that looked related.  It happened to be “Slumdog Millionaire.” I heard the movie was pretty incredible and that it created quite the stir among India’s government.  I haven’t seen the movie but my curiosity peaked enough that I decided to check out the book.  I’ve been listening to it in my car on the way to and from school.  To me, it has felt very graphic and difficult to stomach.  As a result I’ve listened to it in snippets, (rotating it with “Outliers” by Malcom Gladwell) but I can’t seem to put it aside completely.  I keep thinking it's going to get better as hopefully the result of a happy ending.  At this point though, it needs to be really happy.  On the bright side, the narrator does a phenomenal job.  It is read in an Indian accent, which makes the storyline all the more compelling. 

It begins with a young orphan boy in Mumbai who happens to win India’s version of “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” He wins a billion rupees, but before the money is handed over to him he is arrested and accused of cheating.  A detective asks him some very basic questions that someone with average intelligence should be able to answer.  Ram Mohammad Thomas is unable to answer any of these questions.  The detective and game show host are further convinced of his guilt.  They begin to torture him with the intention of forcing him to sign a paper admitting that he cheated.  Before the torture becomes too unbearable, Thomas is rescued by a lawyer.  She says she came just as soon as she had heard of the arrest.  He shares with her that he has won the game show based on luck.  The 12 questions that he was asked happened to be directly related to experiences that were central to his life.  Each chapter is broken down based on the question he was asked and the story he has to tell. 

Again the stories are unsettling to say that least, but I think many of his experiences are reality for the impoverished.  I've looked up various articles related to some of the subjects and the only thing I can think of is how grateful I am for our country. Somehow the author has managed to twist every dark theme into the book, and for that reason I really don't recommend it. I just want to absorb as much as I can about India before my trip! This included watching part of  “Gandhi” last week. I may change my mind about the book based on how the whole thing wraps up, if I make it that far. Next on the list for me is Kim, by Rudyard Kipling.  Dad says it’s awesome.  Other, happier, suggestions are also welcome. 

This is a picture of the slums in Mumbai where much of the story takes place.  

The Continuous Atonement

I finished reading “The Continuous Atonement” about 5 minutes ago.  In honor of Sunday, I figured I could write a little post about it.  I’ve been reading a little bit every Sunday for the last couple of months and always feel like I walk away with a new insight.  In his last couple of pages he talks about forgiving and remembering.   He says that when it comes to the wrong doings of others it is important to forgive and forget, but with our own issues we learn because we remember.  These opportunities for growth are part of what make each of us so special. He compares our lives to a polished marble.  The imperfections, once polished, are a piece of what makes that marble so beautiful.  Our imperfections also provide us with opportunities to draw closer to our Savior.  When we remember our mistakes, we can learn from them, and turn those weaknesses into strengths.

There really is a peace that comes from letting the atonement work through us.  Brother Wilcox includes a quote from President Hinckley where he says, “I know it isn’t easy. It’s discouraging at times, sure.  Aren’t you glad it isn’t just fun all the time? Those valleys of discouragement make more beautiful the peaks of achievement.”  That’s easier said when we aren’t in the valleys, but I have loved the many reassuring thoughts in this book.  There’s another story about Brad discussing the ups and downs of life, wishing things could just level out.  His wife, who also happens to be a nurse, interrupts him stating, “When you get hooked up to a heart monitor, you don’t want to see a straight line.  That’s the bad news.  It’s the ups and downs that let you know you’re alive.”  I’m pretty sure I’m one of the last people on the bandwagon with this one, but I’m so glad I took the time to read it J

Into Thin Air

A girl I use to work with, told me awhile back that “Into Thin Air” was her favorite book, and a must read.  She is an amazing climber and it made sense why she was so crazy about the whole thing.  It’s written by Jon Krakauer, and it’s his description of the 1996 Mount Everest disaster.  I don’t know anything about climbing but I literally couldn’t put it down.  I found myself pacing across my living room for who knows how long until I was all finished reading it.  It’s basically about an expedition that should have gone right, but Everest is unpredictable, even for the most seasoned climbers.  Spoiler alert:  a lot of people die. I guess that’s expected from the “deadliest season in history.” I won’t say who, but I made the mistake of looking at the maps they put at the front of the book which label exactly who dies and where their bodies are later located.  Don’t look at the maps if you want to be surprised.  Also, don’t read the acknowledgments on the first few pages. 

Anyway, it’s pretty heartbreaking, and graphic.  There is definitely language, just to be warned.  I want to say I even had a couple of vivid dreams after I finished.  But even knowing essentially how the story ends, it’s a gripping account and it is based on 100% true events.  Jon Krakauer received a serious amount of heat after he published his first article about his take on the expedition.  As both a reporter and mountaineer, he was commissioned to do a story for Outside magazine which was why he climbed Everest in the first place. There was quite a bit of controversy surrounding his descriptions from some of the family members who lost their loved ones.  This is just one person’s account, but he took scrupulous notes on their climb to the peak.  It also includes many interviews with the people who were involved.  I highly recommend it.  I’m pretty sure they made a movie about the experience, but I can’t imagine that it compares to the book.  It’s a story about putting everything on the line for passion, but the men and women in this story are much more than adrenaline junkies.  Again, I couldn’t put it down, and I think a handful of people in the family would really enjoy it! 

This is Rob Hall's team, and the people that Krakauer climbed up with (this picture is also featured on the back cover of the actual book).